D’var Torah: Vayishlach 2025/5786 וישלח
Violet Segall, Grade 8
This week’s parsha is very fascinating, but there’s a specific moment I want to look at. When Yakov, who hasn’t seen Esav in 20 years, hears that his brother is heading his way with 400 men, he panics. He sends gifts of lots of cattle and camels to Esav. Amazingly, or not surprisingly, those gifts make all the difference. When the brothers finally see each other, they kiss and Esav does not attack Yakov. Esav initially refuses to accept the presents, but eventually takes them. They each go their separate ways, and all is well.
So, what exactly happened here? There are three ways I can interpret it.
One, Esav was heading over with an army so he could kill his brother. When he saw the gifts Yakov had sent, he thought that maybe he didn’t have to be mad at him anymore. Esav just wanted to fix the relationship, not to kill him. The gifts changed Esav’s mind, and saved Yakov’s life.
Two, Esav was unsure about what to do about his brother. He didn’t know if he should still be mad, or if it was time to forgive him. When the gifts were delivered, it pushed him over the edge. He was touched by this act of generosity and wanted to be on good terms with Yakov.
Three, Esav was not intending to kill Yakov. He came to make peace with him, to put the past behind them. When he saw the gifts, he was surprised that Yakov was asking for forgiveness. Maybe he took it as a sign that Yakov was scared, which of course, he was.
In this scenario, unlike the first two, the gifts don’t affect anything, and Yakov would’ve been fine even if he hadn’t sent them. So you might think that it was a waste of perfectly good camels for Yakov. But it might not have been. If we only give gifts or praise because we have to, or because it benefits us, that’s not truly being generous. We have to give because we want to, and because we really want to be seen as a loving person. Yakov’s gifts were not in vain, and even if we don’t have lots of cattle to give away, in our lives, we can all do little things that can make a big impact.
But I’m not here to only talk about tangible presents—I also want to talk about the broader concept of generosity. Although there were three ways we could think about the story, the way I like to think about it is that Yakov wasn’t the only one being generous. Esav assumed that his brother was giving the gifts out of love, with no ulterior motives. So let’s be generous to Esav and say that he took the gifts with love for his brother. One of the most generous gifts we can give to our loved ones is the benefit of the doubt. If someone we care about does something we don’t understand, we have to interpret that they’re doing it out of love, and that they have the best intentions.
Generosity comes in all different forms: encouragement, words of love, affirmation, smiles. Be generous today with someone you love. It may make all the difference.
